Christian Testimonies
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My Testimony
I am a twice converted Christian and would like to apologize for propagating Mormonisms exclusive truth claims between 1972 and 1995. I have been sincere in my Mormon faith, but having been mislead about some very disturbing aspects of the true history of the LDS Church, Hence I now confess that my testimony was misguided and misinformed. I now belief that any claims to Mormonisms exclusive truth are false. While Mormonism has a Christian core and some spiritual values and social values, it has morphed so far from its Christian roots that I had to recant and renounce any false Mormon beliefs. I belief that Mormonism's claim to sole truth and divine authority are unsustainable. I can tolerate some myth, but not a fundamentally dishonest historical record set up as scripture.
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Pure Religion is Love
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this:
To visit orphans and widows in their distress |
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The Jesus I know
I know nothing but Christ crucified for me. I seek his grace and presence in my life here and in the hereafter. I have a very strong belief in the Creator God and the afterlife and that the spiritual dimension now and in the hereafter is very real. To a small part I agree with Joseph Smith's witness. He knew the spirit world is alive and diverse, that spiritual forces of good and evil are real and in battle. I am comfortable with angels and demons. Jesus is alive and he is my redeemer. In him I trust inspite of myth and uncertainty the mystical world is real and brings a deeper purpose into my life now and in the hereafter. Zacchaeus the Tax Collector (Luke 19) 1 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. 5When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. 7All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” 8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord ! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” 9Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” The Kingdom of God Nowadays I see much more evidence of the true and living Jesus outside the LDS camp than I can see within. I see the invisible Kingdom of God spreading over many denominations whose members connect with Gods supernatural and miraculous power on a personal experiential level. I personally know many Christians that resemble Jesus Christ more than any of the LDS apostles. For example Heidi Baker, who stands approved by God through continuous signs and wonders as in biblical times. The blind do see, the deaf do hear. Food is multiplied and the dead are raised. I have become an enthusiastic supporter of her work and take great delight in committing tithing funds to spreading the gospel among the poor and needy of Africa, where largely Muslim Mozambique is transformed by the love of God. Please read the latest testimony (April 2014) of our missionary friends here. How I became a Christian (tbd) How I became a Mormon (tbd) Why I resigned During 1994 we where experiencing a level of stress and distress in our lives and started to look over the fence. We had our 6th baby and Janet served as Trekker leader and desperately wanted a release. She would often come home from church very unhappy or quite angry. She particularly disliked Bishop Harrison and we struggled with the stress of church callings. As migrants with 6 children and with Janet suffering from depression and loneliness and me having to work excessive hours and taking overseas trips life was challenging. We had left our support network, especially family in Europe. One kind lady Sr. Kloesters gave us a little relief, but Janet would outgive and help she got in RS service projects of great need, such as helping sister DJeri who was dying and had 5 little children. Janet was upset how little funding there was in the LDS church for those with special needs as the burden on us was huge. But mostly we needed a blessing from God and we looked to our leaders and thought we are in the only true church and we are doing no better than anybody else, as a matter of fact they heavily advertise miracle healing meeetings and claim the Holy Ghost and they have testimonies and stories to tell. So I felt I was missing out and THERE MUST BE MORE and I wanted a happier life and more inner healing for Janet. Stress and depression has taken its toll and I even became part of the problem because I ACCEPTED a church calling within 2 weeks after our arrival in Australia and against my inner commitment to put my wife first and help her settle in Australia first. I felt bad about the situation because our understanding between us as a couple was that I would help the family settle first and I compromised that agreement in the honest belief that we could handle the calling and just do very little and because we needed the LORDS blessings and help saying no his representatives was not only unfaithful, but detrimental to our welfare. We had the same struggle before in Germany when I was studying and accepted a calling I felt was too big for us. Now we where new migrants with 5 kids and did not even have a home when I got my first calling. We lived with a friend and then in temp accommodation until we could move into our own home after some 60 days just before Christmas. We had no furniture yet as we where waiting for our container and had borrowed sleeping bags. When we where asked for bishop to consider Janet’s release as Trekker leader as she was pregnant and suffering we where reminded that it is not our call. So we looked over the fence for healing and rest and we started to question. Was the Lord really coming through in his sole true and living church. I started to talk to my Christian work mate. He gave me the cross and the switchblade to read, a book which I knew about in Germany and I may have even read in the 70ties. So I started to sneak out and attend AOG services and they where filled with testimony enthusiasm and hope. They where alive and vibrant, not boring and dead. Then I would get back in time to meet my family after the LDS church service would finish. I let Ps Frank Clancy pray over me Janet had her own story. For a brief time she didn't attend church and I was worried about her. I knew the performance pressure was wearing her down and made her more depressed and something had to be done and we needed GOD. All this coincided with Glenn, a young boy I home taught asking very disturbing questions about masonry, a subject I promised to look into. I would go to the Christian book store and get more books, then order books from the US and in due time read stories on the internet in the library. Janet finally got hold of my books, read them and got so angry that she refused to go to the LDS church within just a few weeks of starting to read and she got herself excommunicated. I wanted to go slower and investigate more before quitting, but followed her immediately and we started to check out the local Christian churches, starting with the AOG. I like it there, but Janet took offense and refused to go back. So we went to the CRC and that lasted for at least a year, but then the same happened again and we switched churches again. The reader can see we struggled. But there was much liberating stuff happening in our souls and we now had the freedom to choose. While we did swap churches and while Janet went through spells of inactivity we never quit Christianity. However our struggles with issues of faith and finding truth, happiness and our purpose in life was not easy for our children and my heart goes out to them. Feeling 100% at home in a Christian community is not easy for a disillusioned Ex Mormon as theological struggles have remained in the forefront of our minds. Now almost 20 years later half of my children are Christians and the other half have lost their faith. I am reminded by my wife that I am a fence sitter and she feels that it would be good for her and us if I cut the tie completely. On 9 June 2014 I have finally resigned. I have assured my Mum many years ago that I would not resign and somehow I feel that as she is in her nineties now and that the topic or church membership does not come up any longer I am free. I don't want to hurt her and I have yet got to brake the news. I said to my Mum hopefully you can appear to me in my dreams with a message from beyond. My Mum is very old now and we can't hold a deep discussion. If the church is true why do people leave ?
These are question our kids ask when we face the inevitable decision to stay or leave. How can something so good be so bad ? Can a religion that falsely claim exclusive truth, exclusive authority, and exclusive communication with God be reformed without dropping its claims ? The sanitization efforts by the mouthpiece of God reveals to its discerning members that the entire enterprise is a deception of men. No amount of re-imaging and doctrinal rehabilitation can restore a divinity and authenticity that was never there in the first place. In the end, it is not a question of whether my testimony is based on history or not. The real question is whether the history supports or refutes the claims of a church in which I believed to have had a testimony. I give credit for these conclusions to http://thoughtsonthingsandstuff.com. I have also examined the atheist position to be fair and fortunately I have found it wanting. See bio and article of Richard Packham. When it comes to the essence of Christianity I agree with Dieter Uchtdorf in doubting your doubts. This is a good position in the presence of some confirming evidence and the absence of compelling contrarian evidence. On this basis modern day anecdotal evidence remains valid. For me the Bible does not have to be infallible to maintain faith, essentially defensible and true will do. |
Mormonthink on Youtube
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“God created man in His image, and man has returned the favor.” (Mark Twain)
"If we don't leave the church, then we don't have to concentrate on all the bad stuff just so we can justify our choice to leave." (New Order Mormons) Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27 (NIV) |
Face the facts - see Matthew 12:33-34 King James Version (KJV)
33 Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
33 Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
